Relationships can be great, with lots of laughter, fun times, and the peace of mind that comes from knowing that someone has your back. But not all relationships are good for you, and it can be hard to know when it's time to back off or walk away from the relationship. Recognizing the red flags in relationships early will help save you a lot of emotional anguish.

In order to spot the red flags you should watch out for the following signs:

Doesn’t show you respect
Any healthy relationship is built on respect. If your partner frequently or always ignores your feelings, talks over you, or puts you down, that's a big sign that something is wrong. You should be heard, valued, and treated with respect. If a relationship makes you feel devalued, you shouldn't stay in it.

Always blaming or criticizing you
It's one thing to get occasional constructive criticism, but it's another thing to get criticized regularly. If you feel like nothing you do is ever good enough, or if your partner often blames you for their mistakes, it could be a sign of an unhealthy relationship. You shouldn't feel like you have to walk on eggshells all the time, you should feel like you are supported by your partner.

Micro-managing your behaviour
A good relationship allows both people their independence. It's a red flag if your partner tries to tell you who you can see, what you’re allowed to do, or how you should feel. A relationship should feel like a partnership, not a prison. You should be free to enjoy your own interests, family members and friends.

Not trustworthy
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If you always feel like your partner is hiding things from you, making excuses or is just generally unreliable, it’s a bad sign. Likewise, if they lack trust in you and they are constantly checking in with you, expecting you to be in constant communication with them when you are out of sight, this can cause serious damage to your mental health. Trust, not suspicion, is what makes a relationship strong.

Mental or physical abuse
It should go without saying, that any kind of abuse, whether it's verbal, emotional, or physical, is a huge red flag. You should never feel scared or unsafe in a relationship. If you see abusive tendencies, it's crucial to get help and get away from the situation as soon as possible.

Not taking the time to talk and argues instead
Every relationship has arguments, but healthy ones talk to each other honestly and with respect. If your partner doesn't want to talk about problems or shuts down emotionally, the relationship can’t grow. To understand each other and settle disagreements, it's important to talk to each other and not argue.

Feeling drained or unhappy

If you often feel tired, stressed, or unhappy in the relationship, that's a clue that something is wrong. Your relationship shouldn’t drain you or stress you out. It should energize you knowing that someone you love loves you back.

Not putting forth enough effort
A partnership goes both ways. If you're the only one putting in the effort, it makes things feel unbalanced which will affect your self-esteem and your emotional well-being. Both people in the relationship need to be willing to put in the effort.

Trust Your Gut
Your inner guidance will often let you know when things are off even before your head does. It's important to pay attention to your intuition and honour how you feel. Trust in yourself and your intuition if it’s telling you that your relationship has run its course.

Conclusion

Leaving a relationship that you know isn’t working isn’t easy. It can be scary and painful. But if you stay in a relationship that makes you miserable or stresses you out all the time, you'll never discover the love and happiness you deserve. You deserve a relationship that makes you feel safe, happy and cherished. Don't accept anything less.

If you're having relationship trouble and need support in figuring out next steps, seeing a therapist can help. At Wild Sage Therapy our therapists work with Millennials and Gen Z and can help you learn how to spot those red flags, set boundaries, and put your mental health first so you can thrive. Start by scheduling a free consultation with one of our therapists today!