Therapy for Heartbreak and Rediscovering Yourself After a Breakup

Breakups are difficult. It's not just the loss of a relationship, it's also the loss of the future you thought you would have, the routines you shared, the person you were in the relationship, and the comfort you felt with that person. When you're having trouble moving forward, it can be even harder to see your friends get married, buy homes and have kids. You start to worry that you're falling behind.

Therapy for heartbreak can help you process all the feelings that come up at this time in your life. It gives you time to think about what the relationship meant to you, why the breakup hurts so much, and helps you define how you want your life to look moving forward. Heartbreak is normal and common, but your feelings about it are very personal.

Why Heartbreak Can be Hard to Handle in Your 20s and 30s

During this time of life, breakups can sometimes be harder to deal with. You might have had a long-term vision of what your life would be like with this person including buying a home together and maybe building a family. That’s why it can feel so devastating when the relationship ends because all those plans fall apart at the same time. Even if the relationship wasn't perfect, losing it can make you feel unsteady in your life.

On top of that, you might be around people who seem to be making progress without any problems. Friends are getting engaged, sharing pictures of their babies, celebrating promotions, and buying houses. Meanwhile, you might be trying to figure out how to get through the morning without crying.

The Hurt from Heartbreak is Worse When You Compare Yourself to Friends

Comparison can make your pain worse. You might start to wonder why you aren’t enjoying the same things that other people around are. You might feel like everyone else has their shit together, while you feel stuck and hopeless.

There are many ways that these comparisons can show up. You might feel bad about being single again and begin to think you wasted time with the wrong person. Or worse, you might start to question whether you're good enough or attractive enough which only pushes your confidence even lower.

It's normal to feel like you don't connect with friends whose lives are different than yours. When you compare yourself to others, the heartbreak can start to feel like a failure on your part. And you need to understand that it is not. And as corny as it may sound, sometimes these things can become a blessing in disguise. You really don’t know what might be around the corner for you.

How Therapy for Heartbreak Can Help You Reclaim Your Sense of Self

Therapy for heartbreak can help you in more ways than just feeling better. It can help you figure out why the breakup is so hard on you and what you can do to move forward from a stronger place. In therapy, you have the time and support to deal with your grief, anger, confusion and loneliness while figuring out what you want your life to look like instead.

You can talk about your past relationships and previous heartbreaks to determine if there are any patterns that need deeper exploration. You can also boost your confidence and get back in touch with the parts of yourself that may have been put aside during the relationship.

Therapy allows you to take your time with healing and rebuilding your life instead of numbing out or pretending you're fine when you’re not. You can then decide what you want from future relationships and learn to honour your own needs again.

Go at Your Own Speed When Healing from a Breakup

Getting over a broken heart isn't a straight line. There may be days when you feel like you’re over it. And on other days, you might feel like staying at home curled up with a blanket and a box of kleenex. Both are totally normal.

The most important thing is to remember that you are on your own path. You don't have to be like your friends. You don't have to reach certain goals by a certain age. Your life may look different, but that doesn't mean you're behind.

At Wild Sage Therapy, our therapists help Gen Z and Millennials deal with heartbreak, relationship problems, and the complicated feelings that come with it. Therapy can help you get your confidence back, heal and move forward in a way that feels good to you.

If you're ready to get support in getting over a breakup in the Toronto area, get in touch to set up a free consultation.