How to Cope with the Feeling of Being Left Behind as a Millennial or Gen Z
When everyone around you seems to be achieving their big goals while you are still trying to figure things out, it can be very discouraging. You might be someone who is watching your friends get married, have kids, buy houses, or get promotions from the sidelines. A lot of Gen Z and Millennials feel left behind, especially in a culture where people post about everything from relationships to career success online.
It's easy to think you should be further ahead when you compare your life to others. Those comparisons can make you doubt your choices or your timeline, even if you're happy with where you are. Even when no one is telling you what to do, it can make you feel under pressure to achieve more and reach those same milestones.
Why It Seems Like Everyone Else Is Moving Faster Than You
Many people of the Gen Z and Millennial generations grew up with ideas about what being an adult would look like. You may have thought that certain things would happen by a certain age, but life is much more unpredictable than that. At the same time, social media puts other people's timelines and accomplishments right in front of you. You see people getting engaged, announcing their pregnancies, getting promoted, and making big strides with their lives, but you don't often see the struggle or doubt that comes with it.
Wait a few years and many of those same friends with the seemingly idyllic lives will be getting divorced, dealing with health issues or be in conflict with their kids. But knowing this probably doesn't help right now and your feelings matter.
It's normal to compare yourself to your closest friends. And while you might feel proud of your them for their accomplishments, you might also wonder why you haven’t achieved the same. Even if you want something different for yourself, seeing other people achieve those milestones can make you wonder if you're doing it wrong.
How Comparing Yourself to Others Affects Your Mental Health and Confidence
Comparing yourself to others can slowly chip away at your self-esteem. You might start to doubt your choices, worry that you're not doing enough or feel like you don’t fit in anymore. This can cause you to feel anxious, overthink things, be too hard on yourself or feel stuck in a rut.
These feelings don't in any way mean that you're doing it wrong. It just means that you are focusing on the wrong things when you compare yourself to others. If you take the time to focus on and celebrate your own accomplishments, you might begin to appreciate the uniqueness and beauty of your own path.
Creating Your Own Timeline Instead of Following Someone Else's
Acknowledging that your life isn't supposed to look like everyone else's can help. Your goals, values, circumstances, and wants are all different. There is no one way to be successful. When you stop comparing yourself to others and start being curious, you can ask yourself things like, "What do I really want?" or “What does success look like to me?”
Changing the way you think can help relieve some of the stress. It allows you take your time, try new things, change your mind, and build a life that feels meaningful instead of rushed. You can also keep in touch with friends who are going through different life stages than you while still honouring your own journey.
A therapist can help you work through these feelings with compassion. Therapy gives you a safe place to talk about the stress you feel about your relationships, job, and defining what being an adult means to you. You can overcome the need for comparison, change your unrealistic expectations, and get your confidence back. You’ll start to feel more confident in your choices and less affected by what other people are doing.
Seeking Support
At Wild Sage Therapy, our therapists help Gen Z and Millennials find their place in the world. You deserve to feel grounded and understood, whether you're going through a career change, a relationship change, or a big life change. If you feel like you're falling behind, it doesn't mean that anything is wrong, it just means that you are on your own timeline and following your own path. Get in touch to schedule a free consultation and take the next step.